Everything Depends on It
With conflict so much a part of life, we must learn to handle it constructively. When I was being interviewed for an assistant pastor job in Arizona, one question asked was, “How do you handle conflict?”
At the time it took me by surprise, but that was an excellent question. Behind it was not only the realization that conflict is everywhere there are people, but that ultimately, our success in any endeavor will be in direct proportion to our ability to manage our differences and get along with other people.
I read of a survey out of Dallas, Texas, that was discussing the work crisis:
A recent survey indicated the most common reason for being fired in secular employment was incompetence, by 39 percent. Incompatibility, the inability to get along with others, was second, by 17 percent. Then came dishonesty, by 12 percent; negative attitudes, by 10 percent; lack of motivation, by 7 percent; failure to follow instructions, by 7 percent; and other by 8 percent. 2
I don’t know of any official studies, but my guess is, the same percentages would be true in the church. So our ability to relate to others, almost as much as our intellect, professional skill, experience or training, will ultimately determine our success in life.
Understanding others, good communications, the ability to unite people; those are the keys to being a winner anywhere, anytime, and in any field.
An Unnatural Act
However, living together in peace is easier said than done. Relationships can be so fragile. They can be broken by a single word or an innocent act. Also, once broken they are extremely hard to mend.
It takes forgiveness to heal broken relationships correctly and completely; and yet, forgiveness is very seldom easy. It can be achingly difficult; to anyone. Long after you have forgiven, the wound lives on in memory.
Most of all, forgiveness is an unnatural act. It is against all instincts, it is against our very human nature. What we really want when we are wronged or hurt is “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” (Matthew 5:38).
This creates an enormous problem for those of us called Christians, for our faith is shot through with forgiveness. But, in spite of the problem, in spite of the difficulty, we can forgive and we can live together in peace.
Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts [trespasses], as we forgive our debtors [those who trespass against us]” (Matthew 6:12) At the center of this prayer, which Jesus gave as a model of how we ought to pray, lies the fact that we are no longer to live on the level of our natural instincts. We, through Christ, and in His strength, have a higher nature and by yielding to it can live our lives on a higher plane.
By His grace, the fruit of the Spirit, “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness [meekness], self-control [temperance]” (Galatians 5:22-23), can characterize our lives for all to see.
Then, and only then, will we quell the stress and conflict in the church and live together in “the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).
2 Robert Half Organization, reported in The Dallas Morning News.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD 
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