The Hilarity of Malapropisms

“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. – Isaiah 55:10-11.

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” – John 14:26.

Malapropisms are often seen in newspaper headlines: Jerk Injures Neck, Wins Award; Navy Finds Dead Pilots Flying with Hangovers; Lower Age for Elderly Opposed; Fire Officials Grilled Over Kerosene Heaters.

A letter to Dear Abby revealed samples from letters to local welfare departments: Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and a half and has been visited regularly by the clergy; I am very annoyed to find that you brand my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was born; Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life; I want money quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks, and he doesn’t do me any good.

Many errors exist in either communicating, translating, or understanding language. That has brought the Bible under close, critical, and sometimes unfair examination. Will Durant critiqued critics of Scripture, saying that if the rules applied to the New Testament by such scholars were applied to other ancient writings, they would have no integrity. Josh McDowell, able Christian apologist, quotes Geisler and Nix, who compared textual variations between the New Testament and ancient secular literature. The Iliad has 5 percent of its 15,600 lines of doubtful origin. The New Testament has one-half of 1 percent of its twenty thousand lines (forty lines of about four hundred words) in doubt—and nothing at all of an essential nature.

Courtesy of Speaker’s Sourcebook of New Illustrations by Virgil Hurley © 1995 by Word, Incorporated.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV © 2011 by Biblica, Inc.®
Used by permission. All rights reserved.