FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Scripture Reference: Acts 15:6-41; Galatians 2:11-14

Everything Depends on It

With conflict so much a part of life, we must learn to handle it constructively. When I was being interviewed for an assistant pastor job in Arizona, one question asked was, “How do you handle conflict?”

At the time it took me by surprise, but that was an excellent question. Behind it was not only the realization that conflict is everywhere there are people, but that ultimately, our success in any endeavor will be in direct proportion to our ability to manage our differences and get along with other people.

I read of a survey out of Dallas, Texas, that was discussing the work crisis:

A recent survey indicated the most common reason for being fired in secular employment was incompetence, by 39 percent. Incompatibility, the inability to get along with others, was second, by 17 percent. Then came dishonesty, by 12 percent; negative attitudes, by 10 percent; lack of motivation, by 7 percent; failure to follow instructions, by 7 percent; and other by 8 percent. ²

I don’t know of any official studies, but my guess is, the same percentages would be true in the church. So our ability to relate to others, almost as much as our intellect, professional skill, experience or training, will ultimately determine our success in life.

Understanding others, good communications, the ability to unite people; those are the keys to being a winner anywhere, anytime, and in any field.

An Unnatural Act

However, living together in peace is easier said than done. Relationships can be so fragile. They can be broken by a single word or an innocent act. Also, once broken they are extremely hard to mend.

It takes forgiveness to heal broken relationships correctly and completely; and yet, forgiveness is very seldom easy. It can be achingly difficult; to anyone. Long after you have forgiven, the wound lives on in memory.

Most of all, forgiveness is an unnatural act. It is against all instincts, it is against our very human nature. What we really want when we are wronged or hurt is “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” (Matthew 5:38).

This creates an enormous problem for those of us called Christians, for our faith is shot through with forgiveness. But, in spite of the problem, in spite of the difficulty, we can forgive and we can live together in peace.

Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts [trespasses], as we forgive our debtors [those who trespass against us]” (Matthew 6:12) At the center of this prayer, which Jesus gave as a model of how we ought to pray, lies the fact that we are no longer to live on the level of our natural instincts. We, through Christ, and in His strength, have a higher nature and by yielding to it can live our lives on a higher plane.

By His grace, the fruit of the Spirit, “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness [meekness], self-control [temperance]” (Galatians 5:22-23), can characterize our lives for all to see.

Then, and only then, will we quell the stress and conflict in the church and live together in “the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

² Robert Half Organization, reported in The Dallas Morning News.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture Reference: Acts 15:6-41; Galatians 2:11-14

Why So Much of It? – Continued

In 1990 the state of Texas had a hotly contested governor’s race between oilman-rancher Clayton Williams and state treasurer Ann Richards.

Clayton Williams conducted the most expensive governor’s race ever, spending $20 million, of which $8.5 million came out of his own pocket.

From the beginning Williams had a substantial lead in all the polls. But, as the race progressed, he literally talked himself out of the governor’s job. Through a series of self-destructive gaffes, Williams, a political novice, gave the victory to Ann Richards.

Clayton Williams himself confessed, “I shot myself in the foot, then reloaded and shot myself again.”

Pastors sometimes do the same thing by arrogant, prideful, and self-serving attitudes.

Some conflict is due to our church governance. There should be no hierarchy in our churches. I believe in congregational rule where the Pastor leads but is also one of the sheep. On a regular basis our churches should have business meetings where the affairs of the church are conducted in an open style setting. Ideally, in such meetings anyone can stand up and say what they think, even if they don’t think, but that is only my opinion. The majority of churches, especially denominations, do not think that way.

It’s understandable that since people do not hold the same convictions, share the same values, or see things the same way, we often have honest differences; and since people in some denominations can sometimes be cruel and blunt in how they express themselves, these meetings can often lead to conflict.

At such times words can become weapons. Alan Redpath, in his book, A Passion for Preaching, says he once formed a mutual encouragement fellowship in a time of stress in one of his pastorates. The members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial. I’ve heard the late, Reverend Billy Graham say something very similar:

T—is it true?
H—is it helpful?
I—is it inspiring?
N—is it necessary?
K—is it kind?

It would sure help if we had such an agreement in some of our churches today. I’m personally fortunate to belong to a body of believers that follow this concept and not just out of necessity but from a heart based in love for others.

Sometimes conflict ensues because we are resistant to change. Most of us have a personal “comfort zone,” and we resist change because it involves too many risks and too much energy; however, a healthy church is always changing, and conflict and change go hand in hand. Change begets conflict; conflict begets change.

Let’s not forget that also, some conflict is due to the times in which we live. Newspapers and television carry daily reports of increased violence in our society, crime, alcoholism, divorce, drug abuse. Conflict in one area of our life will soon affect all our relationships. It is inevitable, then, that conflict in society will soon spill over into the church. The church needs some relief!

To Be Continued

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture Reference: Acts 15:6-41; Galatians 2:11-14

Why So Much of It?

Yet, you might ask, “Isn’t love supposed to be the distinguishing mark of a believer? Aren’t we commanded to live together in peace and unity? Why, then, is there so much conflict, especially in the church?” There are, I believe, several explanations.

First, it is due to our sinful nature. Even though the church is made up of people who have been redeemed and given a new nature in Christ, the old sinful nature is still in us and keeps asserting itself (Romans 7:19-20). When we became born-again, we enlisted in a war (whether we knew it at first or not) that goes on in the spirit against our old human nature.

The writer of James cuts to the heart of this issue when he asks, “Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?” (James 4:1). Notice that James, asks and answers, his own question. Clearly, conflict has its roots in our sinful nature.

Larry McSwain, an ordained minister and teacher of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, wrote:

Is conflict [in the church] necessary, then? Yes, because sin has made its impression upon all persons. Must it be so prevalent in the church? Yes, for the church is a community of sinners being saved by grace. It has not yet been redeemed in God’s future kingdom.

Satan is the ultimate source of confusion and conflict as he appeals to our sinful nature. The apostle Paul urged believers to forgive one another and be reconciled to one another, “Lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices” (2 Corinthians 2:11). The word device in the Greek means “strategies” or “plans of attack.” Satan uses divisiveness as one of his chief weapons.

Someone once said, “Our tempers get us into trouble and our pride keeps us there.” The Bible wastes no time pointing out the explosive power of anger. The first mortal man born in the world, Cain, in a jealous rage killed his brother, Abel.

The first recorded conversation between procreated man and God was a warning against the destructive effects of anger. God told Cain that his anger was like a wild beast crouching at his door ready to devour him. Anger ultimately destroyed Cain and it will destroy us if it is not dealt with correctly.

Once we have become angry, our pride keeps us from admitting we are at fault, or forgiving those who hurt us. We get locked into positions and will not change. We become territorial, unreasonable, argumentative. We all have some of Cain’s temper and pride in us and we must deal with those faults or they will destroy us and possibly others as well.

Some conflict comes in the church because sadly, we have adopted the world’s standards or “business” models. Some churches look at their pastor as a chief executive officer. They hire him to produce and when he doesn’t they fire him. There are some pastors who view themselves as a corporate executive with total authority over the congregation. They often wind up being their own worst enemy.

To Be Continued

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture Reference: Acts 15:6-41; Galatians 2:11-14

Why are so many pastors leaving the ministry? The reasons are legion: lack of sufficient living expenses, insufficiency of privacy, general apathy (“malaise,” as the late President Jimmy Carter called it) of the congregation, and unreasonable expectations about how to make the church grow.

With so many pastors today either burned out, washed out, thrown out, or found out, and so many congregations either dead, declining, or divided, it is evident that the church today is a church in extreme conflict due to stress.

Just Looking at the Top of It

I’ve done my best to help serve in churches throughout my long past and the more I know of and see churches in trouble, the more I feel like the two bumpkins at the rail of a troop transport, gazing at the Atlantic for the first time.

“Man, look at all that water,” said one. “Far as you can see in any direction. Nothing but water.”

“Yeah, and that ain’t all,” said the other. “You’re just looking at the top of it.”

Most people have no clue as to the depth of the conflict that is taking place in many of our churches. We are just looking at the top of it. What you see in the news or hear in your congregations are just the tip of the iceberg unless you take the time to research the situation. The day and age in which we are living today doesn’t help the situation either.

Often this conflict in the church spills over into the minister’s marriage and disrupts it and thus his family harmony, also. At any one time the legal personnel are dealing with hundreds (if not thousands) of divorce cases across the United States, alone. Yet that is just the tip of it and doesn’t take into consideration denominationally supported foreign missionaries. That’s frightening, really frightening!

Conflict and the emotional debris it leaves behind is an inescapable part of life in this day and age. We can never fully eliminate it. We can only hope to manage it and use it constructively.

To Be Continued

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture Reference: Acts 15:6-41; Galatians 2:11-14

In Gore Vidal’s Lincoln, President Lincoln’s oldest son, Bob, wanted to join the army and fight for the Union. His mother objected strenuously, and his father supported her decision. They had already lost two sons at an early age, and she could not bear the thought of losing another. Robert protested that soon General Burnside would be marching against Fredericksburg and would take Richmond by Christmas. Then the war would be over. His father replied, “Oh, no! No, boy, there will be war enough to go around.”

It is with conflict as it is with war, there is always enough to go around, even among God’s people. Just look at biblical history. Adam and Eve were scarcely settled in their new home in the suburbs of Eden when there arose conflict between their two sons and Cain killed his brother, Abel. Thereafter the pages of the Old Testament are darkened by conflict between the herdsmen of Abraham and his nephew, Lot; Jacob and his brother, Esau; Joseph and his brothers; David and Saul; and on and on.

In the New Testament the picture is no better. As Jesus moves progressively toward Jerusalem where He will eventually die on the cross, His disciples dispute among themselves as to who will be greatest in the kingdom. The New Testament church was still reeling from the effects of Pentecost when there arose a “complaint” (Acts 6:1) among the Greek widows that threatened the unity and fellowship of the church.

The enthusiasm and optimism of the church’s first great missionary effort was soon blunted by conflict over doctrine. It took the Jerusalem conference on salvation to settle the issue and send the missionaries out once again (Acts 15).

Even the first missionaries, Paul and Barnabas, had a “sharp contention” over missionary personnel and procedures, so strong, in fact, that it resulted in a split in their missionary endeavors.

Those kinds of conflict are still going on in the church world today among many large mainstream denominations. The evidence is everywhere:

In a single eighteen-month period of 1989–90, over 2,100 Southern Baptist ministers were terminated. (Results of a survey conducted by Norris Smith of the Research Department, The Sunday School Board of the Southern Baptist Convention). I can only speak for my denomination. When you realize that there are approximately 39,000 Southern Baptist churches, that means that one out of every nineteen ministers was fired in a year and a half. That’s 117 a month, twenty-eight a week, four a day. And, both the number and the percentage are growing each year. ¹

The reasons given run the whole spectrum in any denomination:

• There is difficulty in pleasing both the “old guard” and younger members. The pastor often finds himself in the midst of generational polarities over which he normally has little control.
• The congregation may feel the church is not growing as fast as it should, no matter how hard the pastor might be working.
• There is often poor communication between the pastor and laypersons on congregational life and goals.
• Some pastors demonstrate an excessive authoritarian approach to leadership. (Occasionally his problem is just the opposite as he has practically no authority and leadership.)
• Pastoral misconduct is discovered (different kinds of moral turpitude).

While the figures show that 117 churches became fed up with their pastors each month of the year, you could probably multiply by ten the number of pastors who got fed up with their churches. In many denominations there are often far more ordained persons out of the pastorate than in it!

To Be Continued

¹ Larry McSwain and William C. Treadwell, Conflict Ministry in the Church (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1981).
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.