Scripture for Study and Encouragement: Isaiah 29
(especially verse 13)

If your heart isn’t ruled by God’s honor and your life by God’s plan,
you may seem religious, but what you’re living isn’t biblical faith.

I want to use marriage as a case study for the principle stated above. None of us has lived in a marriage that is completely free of conflict and tension. None of us has been able to escape moments of irritation and impatience. We all have had nasty arguments or extended moments of silence. We all have been disappointed in our marriages in some way. (If you’re single, apply everything I’ve said to the relationships in your life.) Now, you just have to ask, “What is all that tension and conflict about?” If you were to read the average Christian marriage book, you would be led to conclude that all of the fights and quarrels are about the inescapable horizontal issues within every marriage. So the conclusion is that if you are smart enough to discuss gender differences, personality differences, role expectations, finances, sex, parenting, diet, and so on, you will be able to avoid most of those conflicts.

On the surface, it sounds right, but it isn’t what the Bible says. Consider the following provocative passage:

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up (James 4:1-10).

Notice how James explains why we have so many fights and quarrels. He doesn’t say, “They come from those difficult people you live with” or “They are the result of the practical issues that you’re forced to deal with.” No, he says they come from the “passions” that wage war in our hearts. In this context, passion means a powerful, ruling desire. I fight with you because I have a heart problem. Rather than my heart being ruled by God and motivated by God’s honor, my heart is ruled by my wants, my needs, and my feelings. If it is, I am always in some kind of conflict with you. Furthermore, James tells us that human conflict is rooted in spiritual adultery. When we put ourselves where God alone belongs, conflict always results. It is all just another argument for the essentiality of God’s grace in Jesus.

Adapted and modified excerpts from Paul David Tripp, 40 Days of Faith
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture taken from the New King James Version®, NKJV © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.