You Can’t Win ‘Em All
My friend, Margaret, mentioned that her husband George never could remember their wedding anniversary on March 7. One year, when they were en route to Australia, at five minutes before midnight on March 6, George proudly looked at Margaret and said, “This year I remembered. Just five minutes.”
At that moment the captain’s voice announced, “We have crossed the International Date Line. It’s now March 8.”
Honey . . . Deer!
My husband and I were driving toward our rural home when I spotted three deer about to cross in front of us. Noticing that my husband wasn’t slowing down, I reached over, gently touched his arm, and said, “Honey … deer.”
He still didn’t slow down, so I repeated more firmly, “Honey … deer!”
Suddenly, he hit the brakes, veered, and managed to miss all three. After I caught my breath from our near-miss, I asked him why he hadn’t paid attention when I warned him.
“Warned me?” he said. “I thought you were being romantic.”
An Odd Request
While a student at what is now Minot State University, I served as choir director and radio soloist for one of the local churches. One Sunday during our live broadcast, I faced the ultimate test of keeping my composure when the pastor announced my solo: “Mr. Tornow will now sing the old Swedish hymn, ‘Children of the Heavenly Father,’ in memory of Gust Johnson who died at the request of his wife on January 18.”
Fortunately, the accompanist came to my rescue by playing a long introduction — enough time for me to stop laughing.
Good And Bad Behavior
While visiting a neighbor, five-year-old Andrew pulled out his kindergarten class picture and immediately began describing each classmate.
“This is Robert; he hits everyone. This is Stephen. He never listens to the teacher. This is Mark. He chases us and is very noisy.”
Pointing to his own picture, Andrew commented, “And this is me. I’m just sitting here minding my own business.”