Have a Nice Trip

My parents were spending time with my daughters and decided to take them out for ice cream. The waitress brought their order and started to walk away when my youngest daughter, Sarah, looked at her grandpa and asked, “Aren’t you going to trip the waitress? My mom always does.”

Do Unto Dorothy

When my 5-year-old daughter, Emily, started kindergarten, I wanted to alleviate both our fears about the first day of school. Before leaving the house, I knelt down in front of her and said, “Honey, you will meet a lot of new people today and you need to remember the ‘Golden Rule.’ Do you know what that is?”

In a very serious voice Emily said, “Yes, Mommy, I know. Follow the yellow brick road.”

Salt of the Earth

One afternoon, my four-year-old niece Paige and my six-year-old daughter Ashley started an argument, which grew louder and louder. I was about to intervene when my daughter stormed down the stairs.

“Mom,” she yelled, “Jesus wants us to be the salt of the earth and Paige is being the pepper!”

Mommies Only

My son, Kyle, 4, was unsuccessfully trying to open a bottle of children’s vitamins. After watching several vain attempts, I explained, “It’s made so only mommies and daddies can open it.”

After tiring of his struggle, Kyle relinquished the bottle. As I easily opened it for him, Kyle stared in amazement and asked in a breathless voice, “How does it know you’re a mommy?”

Growing Up

On my son Luke’s sixth birthday I asked him how he felt. Holding up six outstretched fingers, he replied in all seriousness, “I can’t believe I’ve used up a whole hand already.”

Asking God For Forgiveness

We had attended a nativity program with our friends and their two sons, ages 4 and 6, and were impressed with the boys’ fascination at seeing the baby Jesus in a manger. The play was, indeed, realistic and convincing.

Later at their home the boys started arguing, and after ignoring repeated warnings to stop, their mother sent them to their rooms to ask forgiveness from Jesus for their disobedience. When the older boy rejoined us, his mother asked him if he had asked Jesus to forgive him.

“No,” he replied, “I asked God because Jesus is too young to understand.”

Passing Time in Church

My young son asked what the highest number I had ever counted to was. I didn’t know, but I asked about his highest number. It was 5,372.

“Oh,” I said. “Why did you stop there?”

“Church was over.”