The Taxi Driver
A minister died and was waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Just ahead of him was a man dressed in a loud shirt, leather jacket, jeans, and sunglasses.
Saint Peter addressed the man wearing somewhat sloppy clothes. He said, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to let you into the kingdom of heaven?”
The man replied, “I’m Jack Thomas, Jr., taxi-driver from Noo Yawk City.”
Saint Peter consulted his list. He smiled and said to the taxi-driver, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the kingdom of heaven.”
The taxi-driver went through the Pearly Gates with his robe and staff, and then it was the minister’s turn. He stood up tall and spoke out confidently, “I am Joseph Snow. I was the pastor of Sweet Haven Community Church for the last forty-three years.”
Once again Saint Peter consulted his list. He then turned to the minister and said, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter into the kingdom of heaven.”
“Just a minute,” said the minister. “The man who was ahead of me was a taxi-driver, and he got a silken robe and a golden staff. How could this be? I don’t understand.”
Saint Peter looked at the preacher and said, “Up here, we work by results. While you preached, people slept. While Jack drove, people prayed.”
Do You Want To Go to Heaven?
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
The man said, “I do Father.”
The priest said, “Leave this pub right now!”
He then approached a second man. Father Murphy asked, “Do you want to got to heaven?”
“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.
“Then leave this den of Satan!” said the priest.
Father Murphy then walked up to O’Toole and asked, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole replied: “No, I don’t Father.”
The priest looked him right in the eye and said, “You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole smiled, “Oh, when I die. Yes Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”