Is God Really Here?
The young seminarian was driving and his date was clinging to the car door on the passenger’s side of the front seat. In a quandary as to how to alleviate the situation, the young man began the following conversation.
“Sally, do you believe that God is everywhere?” he asked.
Thinking that he was testing her, she replied, “Why of course. God IS everywhere!”
Then he asked again, “No, I mean do you REALLY believe that God is everywhere? Is God with us right now, for instance?”
She looked at him, “Why, yes of course, I believe God is everywhere AND I believe He IS with us right now!”
Again, he asked, “But, Sally, do you believe that He is with us, I mean, really with us right this moment?”
“Yes,” she said, “and don’t be silly. I believe that God is with us right now! I really do!”
A little more forceful, he asked again, “But, do you believe that God is really with us; I mean, here right now; here in this front seat with us right this moment?”
Now completely frustrated, she replied, “OF COURSE I BELIEVE HE’S WITH US IN THIS FRONT SEAT RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!”
With a big grin on his face, he looks over at her and asks, “Then why not scoot over here and let Him have the window seat?”
Make the Coffee Dear
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, ” You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
The husband replies, ” I can’t believe that. Show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says …………..
The Three Wise Men
For all of you who think you really know your Bible, I submit the following:
In a small southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were all wearing firemen’s helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quick Stop” on the edge of town, I happened to ask the lady behind the counter about the helmets.
She looked at me with total unbelief then exploded into a tirade, yelling at me, “You northern Yankees never do read the Bible!”
I assured her that actually I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, “See, it says right here, ‘The wise men came from afar!'”