Hearing Funny?

For all of you who can laugh at what life throws at you!

Bowl of Ice Cream

A couple in their nineties are having problems remembering things, so they decide to the go the doctor for a checkup.
The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
His wife asks, “Where are you going?”
“To the kitchen,” he replies.
She asks, ” Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
The husband says, “Sure.”
She gently reminds him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”
He says, “No, I can remember that!”
She then says, “Well, I’d like some strawberries on top. You’d better write it down ’cause I know you’ll forget it.”
He says, “I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
She adds, “I’d also like whipped cream. Now I’m certain you’ll forget that, so you’d better write it down.”
Irritated, he says, “I don’t need to write it down. I can remember that!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream!” He then grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, “Where’s my toast?”

Perfect Hearing

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor, and was fitted with excellent new hearing aids. He returned a month later for a checkup, and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family just yet. I still sit around quietly, but, now I list to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times already!”

Say What??

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”
I said, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”
He smiled and nodded knowingly, “That’s why we ask.”

Listen to the Rooster

A neighbor had invited some people, including our minister, over for dinner. On the menu were stuffing, peas and baked chicken.
As we prepared to eat, we were serenaded by a crowing rooster.
“Listen to that rooster,” said one of the guests.
Glancing at our pastor digging into his chicken, the host said, “You’d crow, too, if your child was going into the clergy.”

“This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” — Psalm 118:24 (NASB)

About Roland Ledoux

Pastor of Oasis Bible Ministry, an outreach ministry of intercessory prayer, encouragement and exhortation of the Word of God and author of the ministry blog, For The Love of God. I live in Delta, Colorado with my beautiful wife of 47+ years and a young yellow lab whom we affectionately call Bella.
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